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Posts Tagged ‘friendship

We’ve all had one or have one…….a “CRUSH”

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Crush: A crush is a person you simply like, but wouldn’t risk everything for. A person you just dream about being with like the most hottest girl/guy in school, celebrity, or whatever. A crush mostly developes from being physicaly attracted to a person. That’s most cases of crushes. Or sometimes it could just be this person who you really like a lot but then comes another and you no longer like that person, but the other.

Crush: A crush is a word used to describe special feelings you have for another person, a classmate, or friend that you really like.

Crush: A crush is a person who makes your heart beat faster, and you can’t breath around them, and never talk to them because you like them, your not in love with them, but you could be if they felt the same way.

Crushes are perfectly natural. You admire them, dream about them, feel happy when you see them and gloomy in their absence. Guys usually develop a crush before women as males have a higher sexual attraction level than females.

I thought this was a summary from deepdevotions.com; Crushes are top-heavy. Some people will say that the problem with crushes is that they aren’t real. Actually, the problem is that crushes are too real—too real for the relationship. You have so much emotion (love, desire, and longing) that the small amount of relationship you do have with your crush can’t stand the weight of it.

I think all these definitions describe a crush from a different point of view. All of them are right in some aspect. It seems like I have always had a crush on someone. I still remember my high school senior year crush. I have a crush on a good friend of mine now. Their is something odd about having a crush because no matter how much you fantasize about being with that person, you almost never inform that person how you feel about them. You know why??? One word….REJECTION!!! No one wants to get rejected by someone they are physically attracted to and think so much about. I was talking with another good friend of mine last night at Starbucks and we both have crushes on someone. She won’t tell her guy and I won’t tell my girl. It’s weird because we both talked for about 15 minutes each about why we have a crush. She doesn’t want to tell her guy she has a crush because she wants to hear it from him first and I won’t tell my girl that I have a crush on her because I don’t want to be rejected or jeopardize our friendship.

I felt the need to write about this because I just finished watching He’s Just Not That Into You. Great movie. But love, dating and friendships is something we deal with everyday. I feel that we shouldn’t let the people we have “more than friends” feelings for getaway. I don’t have the answers to how to deal with this but hopefully we can conquer our fears and speak up to the ones we have this Lil Bow Wow puppy love for. In my whole life, I’ve only told one girl that I actually had a crush on her……..it didn’t go well at all :(. Of course, there are millions of girls out there, but getting rejected by your crush is different than getting rejected by some random girl. A “Crujection” (crush rejection) hurts and ruins what you ever had with that person before you spilled the beans. Most real crushes are on a friend, someone you’ve known for a while, someone you spend a lot of time with, someone who is in your presence a lot, etc…. Celebrity crushes don’t count everyone has those and believe me I have a lot (for ex. Megan Fox, Taraji P. Henson, Kristen Stewart, Kerry Washington, etc…). You never get to tell those people how you feel and 99.9% they don’t even know you exist.  I guess what I am getting at is……be honest with yourself, believe and hope for the best……..communicate how you feel, but don’t come on too strong, take it slowly, get to know your crush more before you confess (I have been trying to do that lately), etc…

We can do this people because we all have had a crush or have one now!!!!

Written by Teen Wolf

June 25, 2009 at 5:43 am

Transition from Lover to Friend

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I don’t know where to start. I remember when my ex laid those words on me……I felt like she just grabbed a samurai sword and stuck it in my heart. She was cutting herself out of my heart. It was difficult to deal with. I was saying to myself “how can I be her friend, this won’t work at all, maybe I should never talk to her again”. Well it actually worked out ok……although I don’t know how I would handle seeing her with another guy…..Thank goodness that time hasn’t come yet!!

But I’m not here to discuss that transition from lover to friend. I’m actually here to fill you in on my most recent transition and try to provide some tips for dealing with it. Ok I was recently dating this girl I knew from way back. Things were going good and then after about a month of dating she hit me with the “Transition”!!! Maybe we should just be friends…..I was like WTF!!! Well that was just the beginning of the “Transition” because we went back and forth as lovers and friends for about another 2 weeks!! Finally, that was the end of the rocking chair phase. Friends is all it was going to be or there would be nothing at all. So I took the friend ticket. But unfortunately in my case she still wanted to go to the clubs with me on the weekends. So like a dummy, I brought her along one Friday night. The early part of the night was cool, but after the drinks hit me I thought to myself “I’m single and I can do whatever I want”!!! Since I happen to be a dancer I then made my way to the dance floor to dance with some hotties that had the eyes for me all night!!! To my surprise, I turn my head and I see my “friend” storming out the door in anger. I chased after her like a dog chasing a ball. Of course, she was upset that I was dancing with other women, but I as I remember it was her idea to make the “Transition”!! She eventually calmed down and we left the club. Exactly, one week later we are back in the exact same situation, but this time the roles are reversed!! I was cool with being her friend……,but I couldn’t handle seeing her mingling and dancing with this one guy all night. So again we left the club. I dropped her off and felt that maybe we should take a break and not go out with each other for a while. Great Idea!!

Well, last night was the first night we went out again as strictly friends….the “Transition” had finally been put in place. It was a great night. She didn’t mind me talking to other girls and I didn’t  mind her talking to other guys. And when someone asked if we were a couple…….we both replied “Just Friends”!

The moral of the story is that a “Transition” from lover to friend is hard. Give it sometime to set in. Don’t hang out immediately. Be aware that things will be different, be prepared for the newcomers, etc…. Remember that you are single and free to mingle with whomever you want but be respectful in her presence. I had to blog about this because it took me about 3 weeks to cope with this and I wanna help others progress faster.

Written by Teen Wolf

June 18, 2009 at 4:59 pm