She’s just not that into you, but I know when she is!

After watching He’s just not that into you, I had to write an article for the guys. Guys want to know when to pursue a girl or move on too. I thought this was such a great movie to help women with dating, but I feel like the guys were left out. Yeah, I know we got the movie Hitch, but it’s about the dating process, not the process before you actually get a date. Guys like to think that they know all about picking up women, but they really don’t. I’m probably breaking man code by saying this, but us guys are pretty dumb about figuring out if a woman is into us or not. And what makes it worse is that we ask each other for advice! When we should be asking a woman for advice. Didn’t you notice in the movie that Justin Long’s character a guy helped out Ginnifer Goodwin’s character. Yet, there is an exception to this because some guys actually do know how to help other guys, but they are a rare commodity on this planet. I’m not trying to brag, but I must be one because my friends constantly come to me and it must work………cus they keep coming back, lol! I’ve even helped out some lady friends figure out if a guy is into them (Which is the way it’s supposed to be; opposite sex helps you best).  Now, I did read a book or two in the past when I used to be clueless to help me with this.

Well, now it is time to get to the meat of the article, what you’ve all been waiting for……..Is she into you or not?????

First of all look for the signs…..physical signs, not the signs you saw in Transformers 2 (great movie by the way, lol). Body language is probably the most obvious. Picture this, you are talking to each other, but if she is glancing around, looking at her cellphone, or trying to catch a friend’s attention then she is either not into you or not interested in the topic you are discussing. So change the subject or let her go because there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Second, be aware of the excuses….we tend to take excuses as a sign that she may be on her period! For example, you are talking to her on the phone about hanging out or going on a date, but she has a way of exempting herself every time you want to spend some quality, lets get to know each other better time on the town. Some of my favorite excuses are it’s girls night out, I’m really focusing on my career right now,  or I’m busy helping my family get through a tough time. However, if she happens to suggest another time or day to get together then this means she is still interested. I have the perfect example of that, a beautiful young lady that I am talking to declined my date because she had personal issues to deal with, but she followed that up with could it wait a little??? Of course, like a gentleman I said yes. Not only is she still interested, but she knows that I understand and sympathize with her. If she didn’t follow up her answer of “No” with a suggestion then that would have meant she is not into me.

The third and most irritating one because most guys seem to not hear it or ignore it, is when a woman say’s I’m not ready to date or start a relationship. This one is total rejection, please save yourself the humiliation, drinks, and constant useless conversation and move on. The longer and harder you try, the more tense the conversation can get. This is when a woman’s mean or bitchy side can come out. She might start discussing with you qualities that she dislike in men and guess what????…….those qualities she are speaking about are the exact same qualities you have!!

The fourth can really piss you off!! No joke, this one can make you mad, but you keep on talking to her…..it’s like you got an energizer battery that operates your jaw. Please take that battery out and move on. In this case, during the conversation she will start to discuss guys that she is interested in. No man wants to pursue a woman that talks about other guys she like, but we keep trying harder to get her to like us! Funny isn’t it, but very true! Now, there is some good to this, if and only if you are open to meeting another woman. She might eventually try to hook you up with one of her friends…..yes, I did say that. But in most cases a man would be too blinded by her to care about her friends. When she does this, it means she is not romantically attracted to you or as I like to say, “She is just not that into you”.

Finally, the fifth step to realizing she is not into you. I like to call this one “The Bearer of Bad News”, kind of like the grim reaper. This individual or group of people will probably take your breath away or maybe life…..just joking, but they don’t come with intentions to harm, just to inform you. In some cases, a woman’s friends might pull you aside and drop some hints, direct you to another girl, or even talk about something else with you so that you will get your mind off of there friend because obviously she is just not that into you! I have a personal experience to share with you. I was at the bar with 2 girl friends, one I was trying to pursue as a possible match for dating and the other was just a friend. I kept trying like any other guy would do, but eventually her friend pulled me aside, took me out the bar and we took a walk around the block. She was pretty much hinting at the fact that her friend was not into me. The 3 of us still remain friends to this day, but it would have taken me a lot longer to recognize that she was not into me if her/my friend didn’t pull me aside.

That, my fellow gender on the prowl  is the guide to figuring out that she is just not that into you, but hold your horses because I have a special treat for you!!!! You now know when she isn’t into you, but now I want to teach you how to tell when SHE IS INTO YOU!

Here is a quick and brief list of how to tell if a woman is into you. NOTE: each * is a different fact (fact is a strong word, so each * is a different way of picking up on her signal that she is into you)

*Say for example you walk into a bar, coffee shop or where ever women are and a woman and her friend starts to whisper and giggle while staring or even pointing at you. This is a sign that she is interested. Remember this….girls gossip like the magazine when they see a guy they like. *Same setting as above, matter of fact, let’s use the same setting for all of these. Say for instance, you catch a woman looking at you and you stare back, but she looks up or down, but seconds later you catch her glancing at you again. She is interested but shy. *She is looking over at you and playing with her jewelry. This is an open opportunity to smile, walk over, compliment her jewelry and start conversing. *Exposure of skin (example less buttons buttoned on a shirt, obvious neck exposure, more of her leg is exposed, etc…) or dangling her heels off her toes is a sign of interest, if and only if she is looking your way while doing this. *My favorite is when a woman invades your personal space, whether it be her whole body, an arm, or leg….if you can’t pick up on that then you should be playing the piano with Stevie Wonder (just joking, I love Stevie). *A very obvious sign is when she touches your clothing or plays with something you are wearing (for example, tie, collar, even a hole in your jeans(another personal experience)). *If you can’t pick up on it when a woman stares you down and licks her lips then you’re probably playing the wrong sport…catch my drift? *If she starts to play with her hair while talking with you. *I like this one because I’m a kid at heart, but I call this one “the kid in her” aka “the silly girl” because as she is talking with you she may start to giggle, do silly things, scrunch her shoulders, move breast enticingly or become wide-eyed. *This one is funny. I guess you could call it the copycat. While speaking if she starts to mimic your movements. Then this means she is into you and what you are talking about.

That’s it!! Remember this…..even though she is showing that she is into you, you must react!! And then after you get past the reaction and exchanging numbers then this is when I let Will Smith in Hitch takeover, lol!! Hope this will help.

Note: Remember how I said you can learn best from the opposite sex when someone is into you?……well I learned all this from different women!!(No, it wasn’t my mom. Although she probably has some great tips, lol) Like I said earlier, women know when a woman is into a guy and we know when a guy is into a woman.